David Chadwick, one of the late Suzuki Roshi's students, served on the San Francisco Zen Center board after Suzuki's passing. Turbulence and unrest had arisen at the Center due to a sex scandal and, additionally, abuse of power by the abbot after Suzuki.
During a board meeting, another member, Laurie Senauke, saw how David remained calm during the tempestuous meeting. She asked David about how that was possible when it appeared everything was about to explode. He said, "I just have very low standards."
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First, before proceeding, I need to say I have often held too tightly to my ideals. I have relaxed my hold on them over time, especially now that I am entering my senior years. I still have high standards, and I hope I will keep those. I am, however, more aware now of when what I hold as a standard, such as in behavior - others or mine - blocks me from enjoying life or acting kindly toward someone with whom I strongly disagree.
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David's reply is what Zen Buddhists call "turning words." These words, common in koans, challenge our usual view of reality. Jesus often gave turning words, but most Christian teachers and preachers have pulled them down into the group doctrine, taming their wildness and, thus, challenge to the ego.
Turning words, which include actions, shake the mind out of its usual certainty. This is good, for we usually automatically assume how we see whatever is how whatever is. We oft do not recognize our way of seeing something may be only one way of seeing it, and our view may be right, wrong, or both. We, frankly, live too much blinded by our assumptions. These assumptions include our beliefs. Waking up is waking up to this ignorance and challenging ourselves to see more wholly, differently, and compassionately.
David's "low standards" reply is a turning word that challenges our ideals, our attachment to others fitting a standard that we impose on them. The result is harm to others and ourselves, for such "high standards" are unrealistic. We irritate others. We trouble ourselves.
We do not measure up either, but our ideals - which are only ideas - "ideal' is from Late Latin idealis, "idea" - easily bedazzle us. We can treat ideas like they are absolute in the projection of what Freud called our super-ego: we could call this our self-righteous ego. Thus, the saying, "Don't let your ideals get in your way."
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Do you give up your ideals? A world without ideals would be less the world than we have now. We need ideals. We need high ideals. Standards of goodness, beauty, and excellence are not a problem.
Attachment to ideals leads to suffering. When we focus too much on how we think this and that should be, we can miss how it is, for we are seeing our ideals, not reality. So, we cannot relate wisely and, yes, compassionately.
Facilitating a spirituality group, I became aware that my idea, so ideal, of how things were to proceed was not how they were. The group comprised seven persons with a history of substance abuse. I relaxed with how things were unfolding, intervening with more guidance on the group process but making as much room as possible for flexibility in the process. After my intervention, the group felt thrown off balance, as though I had interrupted them. In time, all leveled out, and the meeting went great. The group did not go as I had hoped; it went better, for we found a way to work together toward the same goal.
I thought about this after the group was over and leaving the correctional facility. I had to relax my idea of how they should act without losing control of the group (a no-no in correctional settings). Otherwise, my goal of being present would have been thwarted. Compassion and insight had to take precedence over the "right" way; hence, what evolved was the right way.
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We can see more clearly when we relax our ideas of ought and should and need to be. We can invite insight and compassion. We can realize ideals are not absolutes, and they can serve us and the common good rather than our serving them. With them serving us, we can explore ways to be more flexible in relating to others and ourselves. We can be softer in relating with others and ourselves, more empathic, more understanding. The world needs this compassionate insight so much now, as always. Possibly, we would all do well to remember - love, kindness, and compassion are more important than egoic clinging to our ideals. A world without ideals is a hell; a world of clinging to ideals is a hell.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
*Story of David Chadwick is from Hozan Alan Senauke. Turning Words: Transformative Enounters with Buddhist Teachers.
